A break-up with someone you've loved or still love is never easy. Those times and moments you've spent together are now just a distant memory. Most breakups don’t usually come as a surprise. There may have been a series of events that led to the relationship ending. Whether you saw it coming or you were caught by surprise, it still hurts.

So how do you get your life together again after a break-up?

Here are 5 ways to build your life after a break-up:

Give Yourself Time To Get Over The Pain

At the moment you've both decided to end the relationship, it may have been the best and most logical thing to do, and it usually is. So you walk out of there feeling like tomorrow will be the start of something great. Then, it hits you, you are now on your own. A flood of emotions will envelop you. You will cry, feel sad, confused, mad and even paralysed.

Give yourself time to feel these feelings, this is a necessary step in healing. Repressed grief can be harmful so cry alone in your space or talk to someone and pour it all out. Let the emotions come through but don't let it consume you. It will reach the point when you will feel that you've cried it all out and you are ready for a fresh start.

Stop Blaming

Whether it was you, your ex or both of you, blaming each other for the split will only get you stuck and delay the healing process. Dwelling on what was done wrong and digging up the past can do more harm than good. It will bring back feelings of resentment, regret and anger, which are all valid emotions but when you keep blaming, you will never get past this stage. Remember that the relationship ended for a reason. In time you will be able to forgive your ex and most of all, yourself.

Not Everything Has to Change

A lot of people think that they need to wipe the slate clean after a break-up. Although this may sound like a foolproof plan, it may not be possible or even advisable. There may be some things in your life before the split that you love doing. So do them, by all means. Whether you like hanging out at the same cafe, listening to the same music or running in the same park, continue doing them.

This also works if you have children involved. Like all kids, children of divorced and separated parents need to have a feeling of security and continuity of the activities that they do with their parents. Some areas of it may change because of the situation, but working harmoniously together will give your children a sense of peace and stability.

Whatever you do, set boundaries with your ex as this will draw the line and make clear that you are not together anymore. Boundaries can also help distance yourself from the cause of the pain that may still be there.

Focus On Yourself, Find Your Passion

Now is the best time to go back to what you were passionate about, perhaps even before you started the relationship. There are often things we give up or do less frequently when we get into a relationship. Now that you have more time to focus on YOU, think of activities that you would love to do again. Try new things, this may unlock hidden passions that you have had all along.

Be Positive

Although breakups are painful and such a difficult time, YOU WILL HEAL from it. If there's anything that this phase of your life brings you, it's the chance to start over. There's a window wide open for you to take peek of the amazing things ahead. Surround yourself with people who lift you up.

When you feel ready, open yourself to the possibility of new love. Just because one relationship did not work out, it doesn’t mean that a relationship with someone new won’t. Always think, say and do positive things to keep on track to healing. In time, you will realise you have overcome the break-up and you're a better, happier version of yourself.